The Red Pen

blame-the-companion-cube:

Woops I found my new favorite blog　

Lawl.

wtffanfiction:

Fandom: Harry Potter

“Hermione smiled at her new army of skittering, chittering, gibbering cocks.
‘Soon,’ she said, rubbing her hands together, ‘I will rule this school!’”

Upon which Harry shouted… no, too obvious.

ladisputing:

themuggletribute:

dreamofcities:

sereynity:

normalapproach:

gryffindorteamseeker:

ladisputing:

I’m sending this to the 2012 Olympics

excellent

You beautiful, wonderful human being.

YES

This is a big fat WIN

Want a bigger win? They responded:

Not having Tennant carry the torch would be one of the biggest missed opportunities in the history of British popular culture.

(via blame-the-companion-cube)

wtffanfiction:

Fandom: Hetalia

“Canada was such a cockblock. No, wait. I was trying to cockblock. And he was cockblocking my cockblock. That’s a double cockblock. That’s a lot of cockblock. Do two cockblocks might a right? Or do two cockblocks just cancel each other out? Ah, the mysteries of cockblocking. Some day I’ll discover your secrets!”

“Canada was such a cockblock”… now there’s a sentence you don’t read every day.

wtffanfiction:

Fandom: Pokemon

“Pikachu began to massage Ash’s opening, slipping one, then two paws in. 
Then he gave the signal. 
“Pika-chu!” Ash slowly began to sit down on Pikachu. 
Pikachu’s head, then his whole body, went inside.: 

Upon which his lightning ignited the methane, propelling him out again.

This post brought to you by Urban Legends You’ll Never See On Mythbusters.

wtffanfiction:

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club

“He leaned down and continued aiming for that spot, realising it was in fact her prostate.”

You fail biology forever.

reasoningwithvampires:

VIDEO ANSWER — “Have you read / Are you going to read / What do you think of / Are you familiar with Fifty Shades of Grey?”

Related Quote: “Twilight at least has the benefit of being fascinating in its awfulness, like a car wreck where you can’t tell if the primary cause was one driver’s cataracts, another driver’s onset of peanut allergy, the rockslide, the sudden appearance off a horde of rabid badgers, or the mysterious solar eclipse. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a drunk driver. Both are hailed as automotive revolutions.” — Audreyii

Speaking of which, go here whilst you still can. The “author” did the same find-replace thing to make a Draco/Hermione fic. Complete with some hilariously bad amateur lawyering in the reviews.

epichumour:

damn well they did say please there go my weekend plans

(via blame-the-companion-cube)

wtffanfiction:

Fandom: Harry Potter

“Severus Snape shook as he thrust his slippery sex sceptre into the boy’s mouth.”

But, because he was shaking so much, missed the boy’s mouth and poked him in the eye. Upon which the boy shouted, “I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!”